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Alternative Land Use Plan Involves More Laughs, Fewer Servers

A resident with absolutely no experience in urban planning or common sense has come up with an alternative land use plan to prevent the development of a data center in Warrenton, leaving local officials scratching their heads.

Life-size rendering of the resident-proposed clown academy

A resident with absolutely no experience in urban planning or common sense has come up with an alternative land use plan to prevent the development of a data center in Warrenton, leaving local officials scratching their heads.

According to insiders, the resident, who prefers to remain anonymous to avoid public ridicule, has proposed turning the land into an open-air clown academy.

"Yes, you heard that right - a clown academy," exclaimed a baffled official, who could hardly contain her laughter. "I'm not sure what's more insane, the fact that someone actually proposed this or the fact that I'm actually considering it."

Sources say that the resident pitched her idea at a recent town hall meeting, where attendees reportedly struggled to keep a straight face.

"She was dead serious," said one attendee. "She even had diagrams and everything. It was like a bad joke, but we all knew she was serious."

Despite the uproarious reception, the resident is adamant that her proposal is a valid alternative to the data center.

"Think about it - we could have a whole new industry here," she said. "A clown academy would put Warrenton on the map, and think of all the revenue we could generate from clown performances and balloon animals. It's a win-win!"

At this point, town officials are still mulling over the proposal, although it's safe to say that it's unlikely to be approved.

"We're not sure if she's a genius or just insane," said one official, still chuckling. "But either way, I don't think we're quite ready to become the clown capital of the world."

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