Given the popularity of their amazing sandwiches and waffle fries, traffic on Prince William Parkway is often backed up just outside the local Chick-Fil-A so that residents can get their fried chicken fix. As a solution to the gridlock, the Chipotle next door will be closed down to make room for a second Chick-Fil-A.
With this new chicken solution in place, customers will be served at twice the rate of speed compared to current conditions. “It is such a hassle sitting in a long line while I’m waiting to get my chicken sandwich with extra pickles and a large sweet tea," said one local resident. "With a new location right next door, I'm thrilled to know that my wait time will be cut in half.”
Since Virginians are left with so few options when it comes to chicken restaurants in the area, it is no wonder why some changes had to be made in order to keep all of those cars on Prince William Parkway moving. One hungry customer noted, “Where else am I supposed to get some good chicken in this town? Popeye’s? The Wing Experience? Charcoal Chicken? Bonchon? El Pollo Rico? *big inhale* KFC? Guapo’s Woodbridge Rotisserie? Bonfire Chicken? Wing Stop? I mean, a guy has got to eat!”
Though it may seem odd to build a Chick-Fil-A right next door to a Chick-Fil-A, it was not the first solution proposed by those who were hoping to keep the traffic flowing in Prince William County. Ann B. Wheeler, chair of the Board of County Supervisors, proposed the idea of adding an eighth day of the week. “We wanted to come up with a way for Chick-Fil-A to be open seven days a week while still being closed on Sunday. Adding an eighth day of the week seemed to make tons of sense, but we could not agree on what that new day would be named. I wanted to call our eighth day Fil-A-Day, but the rest of the board voted that idea down.”
Although most people eat at Chick-Fil-A because it is darn tasty, others just enjoy the entirely foreign concept of the existence of polite teenagers. One mother in a mini van noted, “I'm not even a fan of chicken. In fact, I am a vegetarian. But I go to Chick-Fil-A at least once a week because I am just blown away by how kind the young people who work there are every single time I visit. I had heard about polite teenagers before, but I assumed they existed only in theory. They certainly don’t exist in my home, so I had to go check out this phenomenon for myself.”
As the former Chipotle is razed to make way for superior fast food, the folks at Chick-Fil-A will begin the hiring process. The noted short supply of polite workers does not appear to be an issue according to their corporate headquarters. Said their Chief Operating Officer, “We understand kindness can be in short supply, so we have set up a recruiting effort to bring in a few truckloads of actual Canadians.”
