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In Prince William County, Students Can't Be Bothered to Attend School Despite Record Enrollment

In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that enrollment in Prince William County schools is on the rise, yet attendance is plummeting.

According to sources, students are flocking to enroll in the county's schools, but once they get there, they just can't seem to be bothered to actually attend classes.

"It's a mystery, really," said Superintendent Dr. LaTanya D. McDade. "We've never seen anything like this before. We have more students than ever before, yet attendance is at an all-time low. It's like they just can't be bothered to come to school."

Despite the school district's best efforts to encourage attendance, students just don't seem to care. Incentives like extra credit and free pizza have had no effect on attendance rates.

"We've even tried hiring a professional motivational speaker to come and give a pep talk," said McDade. "But it didn't make a difference. The students just don't seem to care."

The school district is at a loss as to how to improve attendance rates. Some have suggested offering students cash incentives to attend, but others argue that this would only further discourage students from learning.

"We're at a bit of a crossroads," said McDade. "Do we bribe students to come to school, or do we just accept that attendance is going to continue to decline? It's a tough decision to make."

One thing is for sure: the future of education in Prince William County is looking bleak. With enrollment on the rise and attendance on the decline, it's anyone's guess what will happen next.