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Prince William County Hires Baltimore Administrator, Braces for Chaos and Crab Cakes

In a bold and unexpected move, the Prince William Board of County Supervisors has hired Christopher Shorter, a top administrator from Baltimore, to take the reins of county government. When asked about the decision, a county spokesperson gushed, "We were just blown away by Baltimore's track record of good governance. I mean, who wouldn't want to follow in the footsteps of a city with such a stellar reputation for efficiency and transparency? Plus, we heard he has a great crab cake recipe and we wanted to get our hands on that too."

Shorter, who is reportedly already packing his bags and preparing for the move, was equally excited about the opportunity. "I can't wait to bring my wealth of experience and expertise to Prince William County," he said, while simultaneously trying to contain his excitement over the prospect of finally getting away from Baltimore. "I'm sure the residents will be thrilled to see all the improvements we'll make, just like they have in Baltimore... although, to be honest, that's not really saying much. I mean, have you seen the crime rate in that city? Yikes."

Despite the concerns of some Prince William County residents, the county remains optimistic about the future. "We have faith in our new hire and we're sure he'll be able to lead us to new heights of excellence," said the spokesperson. "Just like Baltimore has done... well, except for that whole crime and corruption thing. But hey, we'll just overlook that and focus on the positives, like the fact that our new county executive knows how to properly season a crab cake. That's the important stuff, right?"