With the special election for the Gainesville District approaching, famous rhythm rock guitarist Bob Weir has thrown his 1956 Fender Telecaster into the race for a seat on the contentious Prince William Board of County Supervisors.
“I just want to follow my bliss, and sometimes that path leads to surprising places like suburban Virginia,” said Weir as he strummed a few chords on his guitar. “From the ubiquitous red caboose to the quaint chain hotel, I really feel the quality of life in Haymarket. Plus, it’s not every day you get to see a rockstar running for office.”
Weir is known for making public statements that buck the trend, particularly when he took a hiatus from the Grateful Dead, a band he founded with fellow rock legend Jerry Garcia, to branch out into synth 80s rock band Bobby and the Midnites.
“The same song on a different day is a different song, you know? That’s something this county government needs to think about when we make decisions. And I’ve got a feeling that a rocker like myself can bring some much needed guitar riffs to the county board meetings.”
In addition to working on legalizing recreational marijuana, Weir insists the first issue he’ll tackle as the Gainesville Supervisor is renaming Bristow’s Jiffy Lube Live.
“I’ve played there a dozen times with Dead & Company, and I think a more musical name would be Spotify Stadium. Let’s discuss naming rights! I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a concert at a venue called Spotify Stadium?”
As for his position on data centers, a crucial issue that led to former district supervisor Pete Candland’s resignation, Weir noted he may be encumbered by personal issues since he owns several streaming video companies that rely on high latency for millions of fans around the world.
“But when I’m reincarnated, I’d like to come back as a preserved historic field with a silver stream and zero commercial tax base. Of course, just the not the part the [censored] Civil War racists were on. And if I can bring my guitar with me, even better.”