Prince William County's Director of Equity and Inclusion, Maria Burgos, has been caught in a scandalous controversy over her obsession with the sexual orientation of the county's 5000+ employees. According to sources, Burgos has been fixated on the sexual preference of staff to a level of absurdity that is frankly quite impressive.
"I mean, she was asking me about my sexual orientation like it was a job interview," said one anonymous employee. "It's like she was auditioning me for the role of 'token gay employee' or something."
Some employees have even reported that Burgos has been following them to the bathroom, raising suspicion that she's trying to collect DNA samples. "I wouldn't be surprised if she's running her own underground genetic testing lab or something," said another worker.
But that's not all. Burgos has apparently been pushing for a countywide survey that would pry into the sex lives of all employees. According to a source, "She keeps insisting that this survey is necessary to better understand the needs of our diverse workforce, but seriously, who wants to answer questions about their bedroom habits on a work survey?"
The survey in question reportedly asks employees about their preferred positions, kinks, and even their thoughts on pineapple pizza. "It's like she's trying to create a dating app exclusively for county workers," said one bemused employee.
Despite the discomfort of employees, Burgos has defended her position, saying that her interest in sexual orientation is purely professional. "I just want to ensure that everyone feels welcome and included in the workplace," she said.
But employees remain skeptical. "I mean, sure, I want to feel included, but I don't need management to be up in my business like that," said another employee. "It's like she's trying to out us or something."
With calls for her resignation growing, Burgos remains in her position, much to the chagrin of the county's workers. Some have even taken to wearing disguises to avoid detection by the Director of Equity and Inclusion.
"I've started wearing a fake mustache and glasses to work," said one employee. "I figure if she doesn't recognize me, she won't start asking me about my sex life. It's either that or I start looking for a new job."
As the controversy continues to brew, one thing is clear: employees deserve to feel respected and valued in the workplace, without fear of being pried into their personal lives. Hopefully, Prince William County's leadership understands the importance of boundaries and privacy, and doesn't condone the inappropriate obsession with their employees' bedroom habits.
