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To Combat Rising Food Costs, Whole Foods Market to Come to Dale City

  A street-level rendering of the proposed Quartz District project in Woodbridge.

As unprecedented inflation makes its way across the entire country, the good citizens of Prince William County are voicing their concerns about the rising cost of groceries. In an effort to ease citizens’ fears about such expenses in their expenses, The Quartz District is planning to open a Whole Foods Market.

Development company Buchanan Partners is behind this new build, and Principal Kingsley McAdam could not be happier about the opportunity to bring overpriced hippy food to the area. Said Mr. McAdam, “Whole Foods Market has always been ahead of the curve. Only recently have grocery prices at our local chains started to increase and cause families to feel the pinch. Whole Foods has been overcharging for the same products you can get elsewhere since the day they opened their doors. They truly are innovators.”

Local families do not seem to share the same enthusiasm as Mr. McAdam. One local dad seemed genuinely perplexed. “Feeding a family of five has gotten very expensive. I don’t understand how bringing in a grocery store that will sell food at an even higher price will benefit me.”

Mr. McAdam understood his concerns. “I get it. I am a father, too. Of course, I am also way more successful than most people, so I don’t have to worry about the price of groceries. I let my kids’ nanny do that for me. I do, however, worry about perception. When the citizens of Prince William County see how outrageous the prices are at Whole Foods Market, their perception of the prices at Food Lion and Giant Food will now make those places seem cheap.”

When our reporters pointed out that adding a store that overcharges for foods items and other household essentials does not, in fact, reduce the price of food items at other stores, Mr. McAdam did not seem the least bit fazed. “Not only will the other prices seem like a better deal, but shoppers believe that the hyper-inflated prices of the products that are sold at Whole Food Market must be of superior quality. They will welcome the opportunity for Whole Foods to gouge them. This is just Marketing 101, people.”

Buchanan Partners was also optimistic about all of the money that will be brought in thanks to those from other counties who will drive to Prince William County just to shop at the fancy, high-end retailer. They are also quite pleased about all the minimum wage jobs that a new Whole Foods Market will bring to the area.

As Mr. McAdams put it, “It really is a win-win for the entire community. The addition of this market will put more money directly into the pockets of Prince William County citizens. They can then take that money over to Food Lion to buy groceries because they will certainly be too broke to shop at the very Whole Foods Market that employees them.”

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