Woodbridge District Supervisor Margaret Franklin, known for her political prowess and dedication to transparency, has reportedly been concealing a secret so outrageous, so mind-blowingly heinous, that we can't even share it with you. Not because we don't want to, but because she threatened us. Like, really threatened us. But we're definitely not scared or anything.
It's not that we don't want to inform our readership about the shocking revelation that would send shivers down the spine of even the most hardened investigative journalist. It's just that we can't. But we really, really want to. Seriously, you have no idea how badly we want to spill the beans.
Franklin, who has represented the Woodbridge District since 2020, has been widely praised for her work in the community. But this secret, which we definitely know and are totally not making up, could change everything. It's bad. Like, really bad. But we can't say anything, even though we're journalists and that's sort of our thing.
We received an anonymous tip last week that led us down a dark and twisted path, unearthing a secret so terrifying it could topple the very foundations of Prince William County's local government. But we can't tell you what it is, because then we'd be in danger. Not that we're scared or anything. We're just, you know, concerned.
In a move that would make any Bond villain proud, Supervisor Franklin has threatened us with a series of cryptic messages, warning us to keep our mouths shut. "If you value your kneecaps, you'll keep this secret to yourselves," she said in one particularly ominous message. We're totally not scared, though. We're just protective of our kneecaps.
Despite our burning desire to share this jaw-dropping secret with our readers, we've decided to take the high road and keep quiet. After all, we're a reputable news source, not a gossip column. But trust us, if we ever get the chance to spill this secret, you'll be the first to know. In the meantime, if anyone has any information on the best way to protect one's kneecaps, please let us know.
So, while we can't reveal Supervisor Margaret Franklin's terrible secret, you can rest assured that we're constantly digging for more information. And if we ever get a chance to tell you, you better believe we'll do it. But for now, we're just going to carry on like normal, totally not worried about the potentially dire consequences of sharing this secret. Because we're not scared. Not even a little bit.
P.S. Seriously though, if you have any kneecap protection advice, we're all ears.